Girl You Crazy: Excerpts from My College Diary Part 1

Girl You Crazy: Excerpts from My College Diary Part 1 on Monogrammed Magnolias

You guys, I am literally crying from laughing so hard as I type this.

One of the perks of moving is finding crazy weird things hoarded away in random places that you’ve forgotten. One example being my journal from junior year of college. I was cleaning out my old bedroom when I found it jammed in between an old shoebox and a tote full of winter clothes.

I sat in the floor of my closet reading it for hours and it is just too funny not to share. It does depict all the craziness of my 21st year, after all. So I thought I would switch things up and share a few bits and clips from it’s pages. I don’t even think I’m fully prepared for this level of sharing. However, it’s fun to look back and see just how much has changed in four short years.

Who knows, you could learn a life lesson or two from my mistakes, find it absolutely hilarious (like I do), or you might just wish you could “unknow” some things about me.

August 2012 – Wannabe Elle Woods

“It’s so amazing to be back at school! So much has happened this week, it’s unreal! I pulled together Recruitment Week practically single handedly. Then my sorority voted me as Vice President and I was elected to student government. I also dropped that god-awful creative writing class and realized I have to take the LSAT in February. Speaking of which, I had an interview at a law firm today! Oh, and the Party for a Purpose that I helped plan for the Pink Ladies is tonight. Elle Woods, watch out!”

So sticky sweet I have a toothache just from reading that. Who writes like that in a journal? Let’s back track a bit, that year’s Recruitment Week ended up bombing thanks to a group of troublemakers. I left the sorority by the end of that semester thanks to some crazy drama. So I was a little quick to congratulate myself there. Also, one of my biggest regrets from college is not answering my advisor honestly when she asked why I dropped that creative writing class. The truth was the professor was a sexist ass. Instead I told her I just didn’t like the class. Look at what I’m doing right now…creative writing! It obviously wasn’t the class. I also never took the LSAT because after landing that job at the law firm and spending six months working with eight lawyers, I realized being a lawyer wasn’t for me.

September  2012 – The Crazy Just Keeps Coming

“Just sitting here wondering why there are so many girls on campus who have boyfriends but look like crap every second of the day?! Seriously, they’re all running shorts, cut-off shirts, and no make-up. I wear that around the dorm, maybe to the tanning salon but never ever ever would I wear them on campus 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It’s just not logical. I mean they’re not even pulling the look off. For example, there was this chick at lunch who looked like she just rolled out of bed with Bride-of-Frankenstein hair but across the table from her were two baseball boys flirting their little hearts out?! It just doesn’t make any sense!”

First of all, I swore off judging fellow females based solely on their appearance around age 23 so let me just apologize for vapid Merisa. Second, jealous much? Oh and this actually turned out to be the year I came to my senses and ditched the tanning bed completely so there’s that.

October 2012 – Forever 21

“Birthweek Recap: So aside from being introduced to the fantastic world of 21+ I’ve had an amazing birthweek! From Lawyer Boy and his precious navy suit to getting day drunk with my momma. My awesome friends with their midnight game of Battleshots and the 11th hour birthday wish I’ve realized just how much I have to be grateful for. That’s why I’ve decided to screw the New Year’s Resolution and start my year over at 21. I resolve to stop focusing on the bad in my life and realize that those issues are in the hands of a higher power. There’s no use in me wasting my energy pouting.”

Well, 21 year old me seemed to be headed in the right direction after all. As for the first part, I was fully convinced “Lawyer Boy” wore a navy suit on my birthday for me after I told another secretary navy was my favorite color on a guy. The world my never know if he did or not. I really did get day drunk with my momma. At the same local bar I used to eat Cheerios off the counter of as a baby when she was a waitress there. Also, Battleshots quickly became a campus classic.

“Am I the only one who believes Facebook messages are not a form of courtship?! Come on, guys get with the program…I do not want to start a relationship on “Hey, what’s up?” spelt out in a little instant message block (and that’s if I get the courtesy of correct grammar and punctuation) by someone who just passed me while walking back to my dorm but didn’t have the guts to say anything in person!”

I used the word “courtship” in reference to a college relationship. I obviously still had a lot to learn. Little did I know it would only get worse thanks to Tinder.

Whoa! That was a lot to handle! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. You know, I look back on a lot of those excerpts and can’t believe I’m the same person that wrote them. I guess I’m not though. One thing is for sure, I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

Want to read more from my college diary? Goodness knows there’s plenty more to share! Let me know in the comments or Tweet Me so I know whether to continue the series or not.